2009 Royal Rumble Thoughts

  What I liked about the 2009 Royal Rumble was mainly that it was built around Randy Orton and what I'd argue was his best character development yet.  He was building an empire in the group he led called Legacy, helping develop Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr.  He was also completely unhinged, where he would do dispicable things and almost be in a trance-like state afterwards.  He would punt his opponents in the head to finish matches or take advantage of vulnerability.  He punted Mr. McMahon and put him out of action as well as DDT'd Stephanie and kissed her right in front of her husband Triple H.  They ran with a story where Orton had a condition called IED, or Intermittent Explosive Disorder, where it would cause him to have outbursts of anger.  It was extremely entertaining.  The best part was, this is actually a very real condition!

   The Rumble match itself was good.  There were a few surprises, the winner was predictable yet completely made sense and worked, and the record for shortest elimination was finally broken after twenty years.  Something else that was in development was Jeff Hardy's ups and downs.  He suffered a few tragedies and/or accidents in the recent past, while at the same time was enjoying being the WWE Champion, which he worked so hard to become.  The Women's Championship also changed hands at this event.  The only issue I had was the use of a certain superstar and a dumb storyline that took a perfectly good competitor out of the Royal Rumble.  Let's get started, shall we?

Pre-Show Match - Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Paul Burchill

   To be honest, I remember absolutely nothing about this match, nor can I find any information on it. All I know is that Yang won the match.  In the previous Rumble blog I wrote, I noted my love of Yang's "Asian redneck" gimmick, which he still had here.  Burchill was no longer a Pirate character and came back to join the ECW brand along with Katie Lee, his sister.  Thankfully, they didn't go through with the incest story they had planned for them.  

ECW Title - Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

   Matt had recently lost the ECW Title to Swagger and this was his rematch.  At the time, Swagger was new to the company and I wasn't high on him at all.  I didn't care about his collegiate wrestling background and his lisp made his promos unwatchable. Not to mention, that goofy Gary Busey-like smile. Matt Hardy was always someone people wanted to root for, especially because it seemed all the praise and glory went to his brother Jeff.  I'm foreshadowing later on, as you might be able to tell.  After a gut wrench Power Bomb, Swagger won to retain his Championship.

Women's Title - Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

   After Trish Stratus and Lita retired, the Women's division wasn't as taken care of as it used to be.  With the exception of Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Victoria, the division wasn't that good. At this time, Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella were an item and the angle was enjoyable and funny.  Melina was okay in the ring and definitely improved from her debut a few years prior. She just wasn't up to the level of Beth Phoenix.  Even though Phoenix had Marella in her corner, as well as her number one fan Rosa Mendes, it wasn't enough to hold on to the gold.  When Beth went for the Glam Slam, Melina countered and rolled up the Glamazon to win the Title.  The state of women's wrestling started really dwindling after that, especially with the creation of the Divas's Championship, or what I  refer to as the "Dark Ages of Women's Wrestling."

World Title - John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

   This feud wasn't that great in 2005 and it certainly wasn't great here either.  What's worse was the storyline where Shawn Michaels fell on hard financial times and was forced to turn to JBL as his employer.  I didn't mind the angle so much because many people, including myself, had recently fallen on hard time.  I just don't feel HBK was the right man for this at all.   Even worse, due to this angle, HBK missed the Royal Rumble match.  Michaels super kicked both men.  He draped JBL's arm over Cena reluctantly and left the ring. Somehow, Cena ended up winning here and retained the Championship.

WWE Title No Disqualification Match - Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

   This was the complete opposite of the previous match, as this was an intriguing angle.  Edge was trying to throw every obstacle he could at Hardy, including Vickie Guerrero changing stipulations to their advantage, having Chavo Guerrero in his corner, and breaking up pins.  It seemed nothing was going to faze Jeff. Suddenly, things started to go in Jeff's favor.  Matt Hardy then ran down to the ring and placed a chair under Edge's face, making fans think he was about to use bitter rival Edge's "Con-chair-to" against him.  Matt turned and swung the chair at his brother.  After staring confusingly at Matt before he left the ring, Edge pinned Jeff to win the WWE Title.  Heavy rumors at the time told of the returning Christian to be the one to cost Jeff so nobody saw this coming.

Royal Rumble Match

   Rey Misterio entered here at number one and started the Rumble with John Morrison.  Rivals Triple H and Randy Orton came in early as numbers seven and eight respectively.  Those two ended up brawling during the remainder of the match.  Ted DiBiase Jr. entered at number ten to help out his leader Orton.  Five entries later, Cody Rhodes entered and Legacy started dominating the Rumble.


   Everyone stopped in their tracks when the Undertaker came out next.  Other men such as Chris Jericho, CM Punk, and Kane entered the match.  At number 25 someone no one was expecting, the Whole F'n Show, Rob Van Dam.  Van Dam made quick work of everybody with his Jim Ross endorsed "highly educated feet." Then something we've been waiting for for twenty years took place!  The record that the Warlord held for shortest elimination was broken when Santino entered  and was eliminated in just one second!  It was hilarious, the audience loved it, and everyone laughed when Santino informed the crowd he wasn't ready.  

   It was time once again for some nostalgia when the buzzer rang for number 29.  Everyone cheered as the legendary Hacksaw Jim Duggan made his way to compete in his first Rumble match since 1993.  Hacksaw of course, was the innaugural Rumble winner in 1988.  Say what you want about Hacksaw, but no matter what age, he always got a good pop from the crowd and got them on their feet.  The moment his music hit, everyone chanted along with him with a nice "hoooooooooooooooo!"  Then the forthcoming USA chants began.



   Business picked up when the last man entered the ring, the Big Show.  Big Show and the Undertaker ended up brawling on the outside but were not eliminated yet.  Inside the ring, Triple H squared off against all three members of Legacy.  Both Big Show and Taker managed to find themselves on the apron, on the verge of being eliminated. An RKO from Orton took Big Show out. Big Show was furious so he ripped Undertaker off the apron to eliminate him.  The two brawled to the back while Triple H had his hands full.

   You have to give Triple H credit, as even with a three on one disadvantage, he was still able to eliminate both Rhodes and DiBiase. However, not long after eliminating two thirds of Legacy, Triple H turned around to receive a Clothesline from Orton, which sent him over the top rope and onto the floor.  Randy Orton had won the 2009 Royal Rumble match.  He celebrated with his Legacy cohort to end the night. Little did we know, the "Age of Orton" was upon us!  It was a pretty good Rumble and Orton's win was a great way to end the event. An ommision from the Rumble in HBK for a dumb angle was the only problem I had.

If you have any further thoughts on this topic, let me know in comments.  Heck, let us all know on The WAR Report podcast, every Tuesday at 7PM EST, brought to you by tagmeadate.com, the first and only dating site for wrestling fans.  Go to askthewarreport@gmail.com or #askthewarreport.  For TagMeADate members, our Android and Apple apps are vastly approaching so stay tuned!
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